Many people believe that sex coaching is only for couples on the verge of breaking up, or who are questioning their identities, overcoming trauma, or in a sexless relationship. On the contrary, in more than a decade as a sex educator, I’ve learned that we could all use a little help in the bedroom!
Today I’m pulling back the curtain and sharing some common reasons that couples seek sex coaching.
Low, Missing, or Mismatched Desire
This is my niche, so of course, the most common complaints I hear relate to low, missing, or mismatched desire! Sometimes it’s always been that way, and sometimes it came after a big life change like children, cancer, moving, etc.
You never talk about sex…
Maybe you tried a few times and it was just so damn awkward or you got shut down! Sure, your sex life isn’t what you hoped it would be but that’s better than dealing with more rejection or discomfort. Right?
…or can’t talk about it without fighting
Every time one of you brings up sex, you end up fighting about it. You get defensive, they feel embarrassed, etc. You go around in circles and nothing ever changes.
You’ve tried a bunch of stuff—maybe even worked with a couples’s therapist—and still feel stuck
I love DIYing a lot of my life. But when my website crashes or I throw out my back, I run to a professional. Doing sex counseling is no different. It gives you the space to explore, accept, and ask for what you want with an objective third party to provide insight, tools, and guidance.
It’s also worth noting that couples and marriage therapists receive minimum sexuality training, if any. They excel at the relational aspects of partnerships, but unless they’ve sought out additional sex therapy training, they aren’t the best equipped for handling intimate topics.