“I struggle with getting aroused. The sex is great when we have it but I never want to have it. I really want to want it!”
Does this sound familiar? Working with people in LTR, I hear questions about getting aroused all the time. People want to know things why they:
- never feel in the mood
- can be totally turned on but not wet
- used to fuck like rabbits and now don’t mind going weeks, months even!, without getting it on
- getting aroused takes so damn long – and how to speed that process up already!
Since the temps in NYC have been turned up, I felt it appropriate to devote this edition of Random Sexy Goodness is to getting aroused. Partially because of how often I hear these Qs. And partially because I wanted to make a bad pun about the heat wave! 😉
Without further ado, my friends and I tell you everything you need to know about getting aroused.
All About Getting Aroused
My friend August reveals How to Really Tell if a Woman is Turned On. I 1000% cosign August’s frustration that the perception of vulvas, and those of us who have them, as oh-so-complicated. And this observation too:
While there are exceptions, much of what’s available online isn’t exactly helpful, empowering or even factual when it comes to answering these questions.
My friend Emily explains the science behind why you can’t rely just on body language to determine if someone’s aroused (see August’s post for what to do instead). tl; d
wr: you can be turned on without being wet or dripping and not mentally into it. Gotta love this body of ours!
Speaking of being turned on but not wet (so annoying amiright?!), here are two of my posts about how to prevent and deal with getting dry during sex:
Wondering where the heck your sex drive went and how to get your spark back? My friend Dawn spells it all out in this post. Here’s my favorite quote from her piece:
For most of us, waiting until you want sex is like waiting in the tower of a castle in a distant land for a knight in shining armor to come find you.
But wait – are you not sure what turns you on? Here’s my favorite sexy #datenightin that’ll get you answers (and an orgasm or two in the process).
What surprised you to learn about arousal? What questions do you have about getting turned on? If you want to reach out privately, click here.