Masturbation, self-pleasure, self-love, solo sex – whatever you call it! – often gets a bad rep. You may think of it as less important, feel embarrassed, or hide that you do it. After all, if you have an amazing relationship you shouldn’t need to masturbate, right?! (Wrong.) It’s time to forget all of these myths because there are many benefits of masturbation…for you and your relationship.
Most of what you learned about masturbation is wrong.
Let’s get this out of the way: you won’t go blind, god won’t kill a kitten, and you definitely won’t be ruined for “regular” sex.
Family, friends, and religion perpetuate these myths for many reasons. Their motivations aren’t important. Just know this:
Masturbation won’t hurt you or your relationship.
The research says this. So do the stories from you and the hundreds of women I’ve worked with.
You’ve told me all about the benefits of masturbation for your sex life. Like how it…
- led to more pleasure, less stress, and a stronger relationship (AMEN)
- helped you discover a new turn-on or sexy spot on your body
- let you understand what turns you on and gets you there
Masturbation leads to more pleasure, release, and intimacy.
Nowadays, with your beautifully full life, you definitely could use more of these! In both my relationship and my life, I’m constantly searching for new ways to bring more fun, relaxation, and connection. Masturbation is one way to do that. And unlike other feel-good activities (deep tissue massages, I’m looking at you), masturbating can feel good from start to finish. Plus, it’s free!
Masturbation has physical, emotional, and romantic benefits.
Beyond feeling good and putting you in control, masturbation has many other benefits.
10 Benefits of Masturbation
- It makes you happy. Doing stuff that feels good makes you happy, right? Beyond that, you’re more likely to orgasm during masturbation because you can get the exact type of stimulation you want/love/crave/need/desire to get off. During orgasm, your body releases a ton of feel good hormones like endorphins. And, thanks to Elle Woods, we all know that endorphins make you happy.
- It’s a great way to procrastinate. Yeah I know this one is a little silly but if you’re avoiding something to begin with, might as well feel good while you do it.
- It puts you in complete control. During solo sex, you choose everything that happens, from the fantasies in your head to your hand positions to the toys you use. You don’t have to give directions. Instead, you get to do all the things that feel amazing. There’s a reason self pleasure feels so damn good.
- It lets you practice. Interested in trying something new? Solo sex is the perfect time to try it out. After all, if you embarrass yourself, no one has to know.
- It increases intimacy with your sweetie. Masturbating together (mutual masturbation) lets you and your lover learn what the other likes. Watch each other’s hand positions, wrist flourishes, and bring-me-home movements. As a bonus: its hot hot hot! to see your partner touch themselves.
- It reveals your sexy secrets. Not only is solo sex the perfect time to explore what you like and don’t, it’s also the pefect time to indulge in your favorite fantasy.
- It’s a form of self love. When you masturbate you’re basically going, “Here body, let me show you how much I appreciate you by bringing you lots and lots of pleasure.”
- It’s a great alternative to intercourse. For those nights when you really want to be intimate but there’s just no time, energy, or motivation, masturbating is a great way to release sexual tension.
- It’s the safest sex out there. Wash your hands and/or your toys. That’s it. PS I recommend this toy cleanser which uses tea tree oil instead of harsh chemicals like triclosan that are bad for your bits and your toys.
- It helps you relax + de-stress.Those very same yummy feel good hormones also help reduce stress. Having a rough day? Masturbate. Can’t fall asleep? Masturbate. Feeling nervous? Yup- masturbate. It’s basically a temporary cure-all.
There’s no wrong way to masturbate.
Now that you know all the benefits of masturbation, let’s chat technique. There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to masturbate. As long as you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else (without their consent, of course), do whatever feels good to you. Yes, even if you think its silly or weird. Let me assure you that someone, somewhere, sometime, has done it already. Promise.
Masturbation isn’t for everyone.
If you’re asking yourself, “Should I masturbate (more)?” the only person to answer that question is you. I obviously say HECK YES! but you have to express your sexuality in whatever ways feel amazing to you. Masturbation, like all sex acts, is one of those ways.
As long as it’s what you really want, you can’t go wrong.