How can you direct your partner to get to your g-spot?
~C
Finding the g-spot can be a source of both great pleasure and disappointment. Everyone wants to find it, hoping it’s the magic key to full body, earth-shattering, mind-blowing orgasms. For many, the g-spot is all that and more. Except when it isn’t. Sometimes it’s hard to find, you can’t get over that feeling of having to pee (I promise you won’t…and also there’s an app solution to that), or the orgasm doesn’t feel any stronger.
I could tell you not to sweat that, that the g-spot isn’t for everyone. But what if you really want to find it? Or you kind of know where it is and want your sweetie to find it? Then WTF do you do?
How to find the g-spot? On your own, first.
The best way to direct your partner to your g-spot is to know exactly where it is and what it likes. The more details you can share, the easier it is for your honey to do exactly what you like and need. Because remember, orgasms come from your body and not from anyone else.
If you’re new to the g-spot or need a refresher, here are some g-spot basics to get you started.
- The g-spot is located on the frontal or belly button side of the vaginal wall.
- It can be just inside the opening OR many inches in, all up next to your cervix.
- The g-spot feels more like the roof of your mouth while the rest of your vagina feels more like the inside of your cheek.
- Finding the g-spot is easiest after you’ve had an orgasm because the tissue is erect…yes, like a penis.
- Use different strokes and pressures.
- If you’re close to coming and feel like you have to pee, you’ve found it!
Prefer to watch/listen? Check out this video.
There are different types of g-spot.
The amazing Megan Andelloux first introduced me to this idea. You know how our bodies are all shaped differently? The g-spot is similar. The tissue can be really concentrated in one spot OR it can cover a larger area. This means is that it’s really important for you to play with all the different strokes. Generally, tapping or a come-hither motion work fabulously if your g-spot is more condensed. But if it’s more spread out, stroking all along that front vaginal wall and/or using pressure often does the trick.
Now if you have smaller hands, it’s hard to reach where you need. That’s where g-spot toys come in handy (pun intended).
If you’re new to g-spot play, go for something with a flat or broad head so you can cover a lot of area and really pinpoint where your spot is. Try:
If you have more g-spot experience or are looking for something different, feel free to play around more! Check out
And if nothing else has worked or you want the toy that’s practically guaranteed to find that spot, the NJoy Pure Wand is for you. Its weight and shape mean you can use a lot of pressure.
Bonus: the angle in g-spot vibes is great for reaching your clit too.
Overwhelmed? Set up a sex lab!
What’s a sex lab? As my fabulous friend Kate describes, it’s “a designated time and place for trying a new sexual activity, followed by observations about what worked and what did not.” Basically you’re setting aside time to play and explore without the pressure of having to orgasm. You’re just there to collect data so-to-speak.
Now if the word ‘lab’ doesn’t jive with you, try play day, pleasure date, or sex date. Choose a fun name that takes the pressure off you to do it right. That’s not the point of this, exploration is. But as adults, it’s hard for us to be new at something. We want to be good at it immediately (dammit)! So creating a fun, safe, sexy space to try something new allows you to totally let go, enjoy the journey, and figure out what brings you pleasure and what doesn’t.
Want to make your own sex lab? Check out Kate’s article.
Do it with someone.
Now that you know exactly what you need for g-spot bliss, you can easily tell your partner what you want and need. You might find that things are different with them. If that’s the case, use everything you know to start exploring together.
Now what if you really love exploring with your partner? Ignore what I said above and go for it! I personally prefer trying new things solo so if anything embarrassing happens, I’m the only who has to know. But you might find it easier to take chances with the support of your sweetie. Just try out everything you learned above together. And yes, that includes using a toy if their fingers aren’t reaching or able to apply the pressure you need.
Whether you play with your partner from the start or wait until you know what you want, sex labs are great practice for talking about your desires and fantasies.
Have fun exploring!
If this sounds like a lot of work, it kind of is. That’s why keeping is sexy, playful, and fun is so important. If finding the g-spot feels good, keep doing it. If not, try something new. And if you tried 100 new things and it’s still meh, move on. Maybe give edging a try if you want stronger orgasms. Sex is about pleasure and intimacy and connection. If you aren’t getting at least one, then, as Elsa once said sang, let it go.
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