If you’ve been with your partner(s) for any length of time, you know how easy it is to get stuck in a rut sexually. It can be hard to think up or have the motivation to try new things. If that feels familiar know that you absolutely aren’t alone. And, read on for 13 sex ideas for couples that you can try right now.
Even great sex can start to feel like a routine
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together days, weeks, or years. Over time couples develop sexual scripts or routines. You might have one or you might have 10. Either way, you sometimes miss those lust-filled days at the beginning of your relationship when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.
In fact, this is how things in the bedroom tend to go:
- Go at it like rabbits. Seriously—there’s so much sexy time.
- Finishing the movie actually seems like a good idea. Seriously—you want to see how it ends!
- You’ve got this sex thing down. You go left while your sweetie goes down. Seriously—it’s practically scripted.
- The sex is still good but…it’s definitely time to try out something new. Seriously—you gotta mix it up.
Your sex life isn’t bad but you want to get that spark back
Now don’t get us wrong! Boring sex—sex that’s routine and predictable but still pleasurable—can be awesome. It requires a level of intimacy with your partner(s). It’s comforting to know what happens next and what role you need to play. And it’s empowering to know exactly what turns you and your sweetie on and what gets you there.
You want more passion, newness, and adventure
You want butterflies, adventure, and satisfaction. And you want it tonight (or this weekend). Maybe something sexy happened during your day to inspire it. Or lately you’ve just been craving something new. Either way, you don’t have time to learn something new or wait for your sex toys to come in.
Adventurous sex doesn’t have to involve tons of bells and whistles
But what if you’re just craving something different like right now? You can have that! These fun sex ideas for couples are hot but totally doable (pun intended) ways to spice things up, no practice needed.
Anything that breaks your routine actually activates the creative side of your brain
This means you feel things more deeply, including desire and pleasure. That’s why vacation or hotel sex is so amazing…well that and the fact that you don’t have much to stress about, like cleaning up or worrying about the neighbors.
15 Sex Ideas for Couples
Inspired by Megan Andelloux‘s class Sex on Fire: How to Play in Bed.
Mind your mind and body
- Remember that sex ebbs and flows like anything else. If you’re in the ‘ebb’ stage, try something outside your comfort zone. This will add both anxiety and excitement and help recapture the “thrill” you’re looking for.
- Do your best to not worry about what’s “normal“. After all, when it comes to sex there is no normal. Some desires just happen to be more common than others.
- Take the time to learn how your body works. This helps decrease shame and nervousness during sex, in turn letting you enjoy it more. Check out the posts under our anatomy and physiology tag for more.
Read more: Common Sex Qs: Am I normal?
Change Up Your Routine
- Do it somewhere new. This can mean anywhere from a hotel room to the living room to your car. No need to actually get out of the house–staycation sex in a a new part of your home or on a new piece of furniture can be just as thrilling.
- Change your speed. Love slow, romantic sex? Have a quickie. Usually get it on between when your sweetie and the kids get home? Take time to tease and explore. Go hard where you normally go soft and be gentle where you’re normally rough. Don’t be surprised if you feel like you’re with a different lover! Except one who already knows exactly what you love. It’s like your own smutty novel come to life.
Try a new sex act or technique
- Fantasize while you masturbate. Otherwise its just self-soothing behavior. Which, obviously, is totally ok if that’s what you’re going for.
- Give analingus a shot. Rimming is apparently the most popular form of anal play. Bonus tip: anal orgasms are totally possible thanks to a fun little part of your body called the pudendal nerve.
- Try for a G-spot orgasm. A flat-headed toy like the Je Joue Uma is best because it makes it easy to explore what type(s) of g-spot stimulation your body enjoys.
- Focus on foreplay only. No only do most people with vulvas (and some penises-havers!) need 20-40 minutes of foreplay to get really turned on—think flushed, panting, and practically begging for it, it also is THREE TIMES more likely to bring them to orgasm than penis-in-vagina (PIV) intercourse alone! Instead of thinking of it as the appetizer round, think of foreplay as the main event. More pleasure, more orgasms, rediscovering your favorite sexy past times—what’s not to love?! Bonus: you’ll be in the mood for more later. And by later I mean round two, the next night, or next week.
- Mindful sex. Incorporating mindfulness into your sex life can amplify the pleasure and satisfaction you expereince.
Read more: Mindful Sex Techniques
Be a tool-using human
- Grab a full-length mirror and watch yourself masturbate. This takes away the, “OMG what do I look like when I’m on top?!” nerves and helps you feel more comfortable getting vulnerable with your partner(s).
- Add toys! Not sure how to bring up the topic with your partner? Try talking to them in the car so you both can get distracted by the scenery. Broach the topic by linking it to a news story, book, or even this blog post. “Hey babe – did you know they did x in the book? I was thinking it might be fun to try. What do you think?”
- Make your We-Vibe work for you. Wear it while going down on your partner, while they finger you, or during girl on top (cowgirl) position. Wrap it around the penis (don’t forget the lube!) and stroke me up and down.
- Make safe(r) sexy really fricking sexy by using silicone lube and an internal/female condom. Both help to enhance sensation while providing the best protection from both STIs and unintended pregnancy. This silicone lube is our favorite.
- If you struggle to orgasm, and masturbating and fantasizing haven’t helped, stick something up your butt! Just please make sure it’s something that’s meant to go up your butt. This is where that pudendal nerve comes in again. This amazing nerve carries sensation from your vulva (or penis), the skin around your booty and perineum (aka the t’aint), and some pelvic muscles. Its basically a powerhouse of feel-good sensations and orgasm potential.
Read more: PbK Top 11 Sex Toys List
Enjoy one of these sex ideas for couples tonight!
No matter how long you’ve been with your sweetie, these fun sex ideas for couples can add a new level of intimacy, adventure, and satisfaction.