Pop culture depictions of sex are notoriously inaccurate. From rom coms to 50 Shades, they create unrealistic expectations about how sex happens. The upside? These scenes get people talking. This is certainly true for the cringeworthy analingus scene in Girls. Though rim jobs have long been the butt of jokes (pun intended) this sex act is beloved by many. Here’s everything you need to know about how to give a rim job.
What is a rim job?
Rimming is also known as analingus, rimming, eating ass, and tossing salad. When giving a rim job, you use your mouth and tongue to lick, nibble, and otherwise pleasure someone’s booty, especially their anal opening.
In short: it’s oral sex for the back door.
Does rimming feel good?
For many people, but not everyone, rimming is a source of pleasure. Your pudendal nerve—the nerve that goes to the clitoris and tip of the penis—also runs through your anus, with most of the nerve endings close to the opening. Stimulating these with your mouth and tongue, provides a lot of fun sensations, just like other forms of oral sex.
There’s also the fact that the taboo surrounding giving a rim job makes it a really intimate activity and lets you and your beau connect on a deeper level.
How to Give a Rim Job
Communication is key!
If you want to give a rim job, share your desire with your partner. Talk about what you want, what precautions you want to take to decrease infection risk (more on that below), and any limits you have.
Read more: How to Ask for What You Want in Bed
Gather your supplies
Before you get started, make sure you have the following on hand:
- Your barrier of choice. We’re obsessed with Lorals because these silky latex undies actually enhance sensation.
- Lube to put in and around. You’ll love this one for back door play—its long lasting and more “cushiony” than most lubes.
- Body wipes like these, specifically designed for intimate play, for freshening and/or cleaning up.
Assume a position
Unless discomfort is part of your play, choose a position that’s comfortable for both you and your partner. Here are a few fun and easy positions to try:
- Lying down with a pillow or rolled-up towel under your the hips, feet flat on the bed or pulling knees to ears
- On all fours (like for doggie style), knees apart and back arched
- Facedown with a pillow or rolled up-towel under your the hips
- Standing, facing a wall, with legs spread wide
- Face sitting
However you choose to give them a rim job, choosing a comfortalbe position helps you both relax, enjoy yourselves, and last longer.
Warm Up with lots of Sensual Play (FKA foreplay)
Try these rim job techniques
- Lick it like an ice cream cone—long strokes from bottom to top and repeat.
- Flick your tongue quickly back and forth
- Swirl your tongue in circles or spell out the alphabet
- Trace either side, making half circles with your tongue. You can try this top and bottom or on either side.
- Dart your tongue in and out: this can be tentative or you can really fuck their asshole with your tongue
- Use your lips to kiss, suck, and blow
- Use your hands to pull the butt cheeks or fondle the front genitals simultaneously
Try a toy that mimics rimming
If you’re single, your partner isn’t into rimming, or you want to try something new, you still can enjoy all the sensations of rimming.
This vibrating rimming butt plug has rotating beads in its neck to mimic rimming. The beads—which sit right inside your anal opening aka the most sensitive part of your butt—create a sense of fullness and enhance your pleasure.
Keep in mind that this plug is quite large and not recommended for beginners.
What about cleanliness?
Any form of backdoor play carries the risk of coming into contact with poop. If that’s a deal breaker for you or your partner, that’s OK!
Cleaning thoroughly beforehand reduces this risk. Use a mild soap—not antibacterial as it kills off good bacteria too and can increase your risk of infection—and washcloth, and rinse well. If you have a bidet or removable shower head, use that to rinse all up inside! Some people feel more comfortable using an enema.
- No time? A body wipe works in a pinch.
- Lots of time? Make showering together part of your foreplay!
Lastly, a note about hair: this is a super personal preference, just like for your front genitals. You don’t have to shave or wax. If you decide to, get someone to help as blind hair removal can lead to irritation, cuts, and ingrown hairs.
…and rim job safety?
Like all sex acts, rimming has some infection risks. Because it’s the back door, you have to be mindful of both STIs like chlamydia and herpes and bacteria, viruses, and parasites that are passed fecal-orally, like Hepatitis, E.coli, and more. Keep in mind that someone can be infected with any of these and not have symptoms.
In addition to being mindful of your hygiene, here are three more rim job techniques that can reduce your risk of infections while continuing to enjoy yourself:
- Around, not in. Focus your oral loving around the anal opening and on the perineum versus inside of it. This reduces your risk of coming into contact with bacteria.
- Use a barrier. Use Lorals, a dental dam, a condom cut in half, or a glove-turned-dental-dam between your mouth and your beau’s anal opening during rimming. Plastic wrap also will work in a pinch Add some silicone lube on the receiver’s side of the barrier offers protection without sacrificing sensation!
- Don’t double dip. If you opted to not use a barrier, clean out your mouth before moving to your beau’s mouth or genitals.
It hopefully goes without saying that analingus isn’t the best idea if the receiver shows any signs of digestive distress.
If at first you don’t succeed…
Most of the time when you try something new, sexually or otherwise, it takes a few tries before you really “get” it. Having someone’s face all up in your booty isn’t something most of us have a lot of experience with! It’s normal if one or both of you feel a bit uncomfortable at first! If you enjoyed rimming despite that, or think you could, go ahead and try again.
The ass is the great equalizer
People of all genders and sexualities enjoy getting and giving a rim job. Everyone has a butt and therefore everyone has those pleasure-giving nerve endings around it’s opening. If rimming feels good, go for it! If you decide it’s not for you, or not right now, that’s OK, too. The only people who get to decide what’s “normal” for your sex life are you and your partner(s).