How to Give the Best Blow Job

When the beau and I started dating, I refused to go down on him. I thought it was gross and degrading, so I didn’t do it. Over a decade later, and Oral Pleasure for Penises is my most popular workshop while Cosmo calls me the “Oracle of Oral.” I’ve learned to love this sex act—and a few things about how to give the best blow job.

Focus on your pleasure.

My perspective on blow jobs changed when I realized that I could give them on my terms. I set boundaries based on what felt good to me, and then gave him pleasure within those.

Not sure what will make it fun for you? Here are some questions to ask yourself.

  • What’s your favorite part of a blow job? Your least favorite?
  • What positions will be the most comfortable for your body (goodbye neck cramps and lock jaw)?
  • Do you want to be touched during the blow job? If so, how?
  • Where do you want them to ejaculate?

Use your answers to set boundaries so that you both can enjoy yourselves. And remember, preferences change over time. My 18 year old self would not recognize my sexual preferences today!

How to Give the Best Blow Job

Once you know your boundaries, here are eight blow job tips to blow both your minds.

Remember that everyone is different.

What works for your friend’s hubby or your last partner may not do the trick with your current beau. Everybody has different things that turn them on and get them off. Take time to explore together. You want to look for obvious cues like their “oh fuck baby you’re so good at that” and moans to more subtle ones like tightening of their abs, squirming, and clenching their fists..

Warm them up.

Instead of going straight to bobbing up & down on their cock, tease them into a frenzy. Nibble, lick, blow, swirl, stroke, tickle, and more along their lower belly and inner thighs. Use your hair to tickle them. Let your breasts stroke down their body and dangle over their penis.

Then move onto their shaft and balls, but don’t take them fully into your mouth right away.

Not only does this teasing feel amazing for them—heightening their arousal and making their orgasm, when it happens stronger—but also it keeps your jaw from getting tired. When you finally take them inside your mouth, it won’t have to be for as long.

Get comfortable.

Unless discomfort a kink for you (or part of one), arrange yourself in a position that you feel like you could stay in for a while. Maybe that’s on your back with your head resting over the edge of the bed while they stand. Maybe its on all fours over them. Maybe its on your knees.

The more comfortable you are, the more you can enjoy yourself AND the better it’ll feel for them.

Don’t use only your mouth.

Even if the powers that be blessed you with no gag reflex, don’t feel like you can only use your mouth. Use your hands to tickle, stroke, slap, pinch, scratch, and massage their body while your mouth works their cock.

You can also use your breasts. Rub their cock between them, giving kisses and licks to the tip when it pops up.

If you can’t fit them all in your mouth, use your hands to stroke the rest of them in unison with your mouth. 

Lube, lube, lube.

I love that there’s a lube out there for any and all blowjob issues.

Using your hands or breasts? Use lube! It decreases frictions, and thus heightens sensation and making you work less.. This one is my favorite for skin-to-skin contact like hand jobs (and intercourse). Plus it has no taste or smell.

If taste or smell bothers you, try flavored lube. Have a super sensitive gag reflex? Try a spray to calm your throat muscles.

Explore their t’aint.

The t’aint or perineum is the patch of skin between your beau’s balls and butt hole. It has tons of fun nerve endings. Plus, when you press up into their body, you indirectly stimulate their prostate.

Give their booty some love.

This can be as intimate or innocent as you want. Squeeze and spank their booty. Swirl a finger around their opening, or stick a finger in. Or go down on them while they wear a butt plug.

Read more: Anal Sex Tips for Beginners

Play with power & control.

There’s countless ways to do this, so here are a few ideas. As with anything in sex, and especially power and control, talk (outside of the bedroom) about what you are and are not comfortable with. During sex, keep communicating. Have some signs or

You can..

  • Tie up their hands and/or ankles
  • Not allow them to climax until you say so
  • Spank them

They can…

  • Pull your hair
  • Slap your face or breasts
  • Direct your head

Blow jobs don’t have to feel like work.

To the old adage that “it’s called a ‘job’ for a reason,” I kindly say: FUCK OFF. People of all genders enjoy giving and getting head. You don’t have to love it and also, it doesn’t have to feel like work. The more comfortable you get, the more adjustments you make, the more pleasure everyone experiences.

Kait xo

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