How to Have Better Sex This Year

Transitions of any kind—whether it’s the start of a year or the start of a job—are a great opportunity to reflect on where you’ve been, where you want to go, and what you need to do to get there. Unfortunately, the NEW YEAR YEAR, NEW YOU! hullabaloo has gone from encouragement to exploitation, with every industry jockeying for your time, money, and worth.

This year, instead of focusing on overhauling everything about your life (remember: you’re whole, worthy, and perfect, just as you are, right now), what if you focused on the one area that has the biggest potential to impact your overall happiness: your relationships? What if you took baby steps, the kind that actually lead to long-lasting change? What if you ditched the pressure and focused on pleasure?

Read on for my and my colleagues’ recommendations for new year’s resolutions to have better sex and a more intimate relationship, both with yourself and your beau(s).

9 New Year’s Resolutions for Better Sex

Focus on pleasure, not orgasm or a specific sex act

Much of the angst I help my counseling clients work through relates to their expectations around how sex works and what it looks like: erect penises and wet pussies, desire that just pops up, a penis in a vagina, and orgasms for everyone involved. One thing I help them do is shift their goal to experiencing the most pleasure they can. From here, it becomes less about the mechanics—what you and your partner’s bodies do—and more about everything that works well! You start asking, “what else feels good?,” get creative, and finally have the intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex life you crave.

Discover more sexy resolutions on Blood + Milk

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