#askKait: How to Increase Your Libido

Kelly* asks:

How do you build libido when you’re too tired in your day-to-day?

You’re right to connect your tiredness to low libido—most of what impacts sex has nothing to do with sex itself! In that vein, here’s a holistic approach to building your libido.

Awareness is the first step.

Grab two pieces of paper and draw a big circle on each. Divide up one circle based on how you want to allocate your time. Divide the other based on you actually spend your time. Include categories like work, family, sex, hobbies, friends, etc.

Take a deep breath and look at your charts side-by-side. Where do they match? Differ? What needs to change? What can you change?

Sometimes this is obvious, like my client who worked 6am to 5pm. That’s not a typo! At the end of her day, all she wanted was self-care. By going to work only 30 minutes later, she created time in the morning for herself and, in turn, wanted to cuddle and sex her hubby at night. No one at work noticed.

Other times, you have to prioritize. Another client spent weeknights with friends or networking and weekends working or at events. She limited nights out to twice per week, called friends while walking her dog, and felt more balanced—and in the mood.

Read the rest at Blood + Milk

*Names have been changed.

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