I’ve been wanting to share my sex toy with my boyfriend, but I’m not sure how, as I had previously told him I never used toys, which at the time was the case. How can I bring it up with him when I didn’t seem interested before?
I love this question. It’s one of the most common I’ve heard in my near decade selling sex toys. Before I get into the how, I want to share the most important thing to remember:
I’m going to guess that your hobbies, tastes, and interests have changed since you were a kid. The same holds true for your sex life. What you like and don’t, what brings you pleasure and what doesn’t, what intrigues and repels you—these shift throughout your life and relationship. And thank goodness for that! Wouldn’t life be boring if we never changed?!
Focus on the benefits to you both
Your boyfriend wants you to experience as much pleasure as possible. Toys are one way he can help you do that. In fact, womxn* who use sex toys are three times mores likely to experience orgasm as those who don’t. That’s because toys are designed to stimulate your most sensitive spots.
There’s also the fact that desire is cyclical, especially for womxn: the better the sex, the more you want and are willing to have it.
Lastly, trying new things together causes you both to experience a surge of dopamine, the chemical that gives you that lovin’ feeling early in your relationship. Everytime you indulge your curiosity or explore together, your intimacy and connection deepens.