How to Use Essential Oils for Sex – to Turn You On, Enhance Orgasm, and Boost Libido

couple in shower kissing and touching sensually

When it comes to essential oils for sex, you have lots of options both in terms of which oils to use and how to use them. After all, most of what impacts your sex life has little to do with sex itself. Essential oils can do everything from giving you a boost of energy to helping you destress to setting the mood. There are aphrodisiac oils, mood boosting ones, and more. Whatever you’re hoping to use them for, here are the do’s and don’ts of using essentials oils to turn you on, enhance your orgasm, and boost your libido.

What exactly are essential oils?

Essential oils are concentrated, liquid plant extracts. They’re called “essential” because they contain the essence of plants, including flowers, grasses, fruits, roots, trees, & leaves. You can use them simply because they smell good & are pure or for a variety of health + wellness purposes.

Essential oils are powerful so a little goes a long way!

How do I use essential oils?

There are 3 main ways to use essential oils:

  • diffuse them in the air
  • apply them topically
  • diluted in a carrier oil or lotion like coconut, jojoba, or almond oil

Whichever method you choose, be sure to patch test a small amount of the oil (properly diluted!) on your inner arm.

Three things we do not recommend doing are:

  1. ingesting them
  2. applying them to your skin “neat” aka diluted
  3. applying them directly to your genitals, diluted or otherwise

When using essential oils for sex, we recommend either diffusing them or applying them to the body (as something like a perfume or massage lotion) while properly diluted. Here’s a chart from our partners at Rocky Mountain Oils outlining the proper dilution rates.

Can I use essential oils as lube?

No. Oils can alter the vaginal and anal microbiome, leading to a host of issues like irritation, yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, and other infections. Even an oil that doesn’t bother you elsewhere may cause a reaction in the sensitive skins of the genitals.

Additionally, because oils should never be applied directly to your skin, its important tor ememb er that oil is not compatible with latex or poly-isoprene condoms, gloves, and dental dams.

Read more: All About Lube

You can diffuse essential oils for sex

Diffusing essential oils is a safer alternative to using oils on your skin. Its the one we prefer and recommend, especially if you have sensitive skin. You’ll see both methods mentioned below.

10 Ways to Use Essential Oils for Sex

You know that most of what impacts your sex life has nothing to do with sex. Finding #freedominpleasure is about doing yummy sexy things that turn you on and getting rid of oppressive, draining, stressful, put-yourself-down things that turn you off. At the risk of using an overused metaphor: the car won’t move if your foot is on the brake (yes even if the other foot is jamming down the gas).

When you think of sex in this holistic way, it gives you endless ways to use essential oils for sex! Here are ten of our favourites.

get in the mood

Ylang Ylang is a known aphrodisiac, making it a great essential oil for female arousal. Rub a little on your inner thighs and pulse points or diffuse it, and enjoy what comes next. Don’t love the Ylang Ylang’s sweet floral scent? Try Sandalwood (more woodsy) or Clary Sage (more herbal) instead.

Sexpert Tip: only use this when you want to have sex so it becomes your signature scent. Your beau will get the hint and know immediately when they smell this that it’s go time.

Read more: Aphrodisiac Essential Oils and Recipes

feel more confident

You wanna be a confident + sexy siren and just go for it… but you’re nervous. Orange to the rescue! It lifts your mood, boosts your confidence, and diminishes your inner mean girl.

stay in the moment

Are you easily distracted during sex? Struggle to stay in the moment? Keep thinking about your to-do list and the laundry and and and…?

It’s not you- it’s your brain (and society). Women have more white matter aka connective tissue in our brains. That’s why it seems like we can multitask so much better than most gents. The downside? Your mind also tends to wander during important things too, like sex!

One solution? Use essential oils for female stimulation. Diffuse Attention Assist (more woodsy) or Present Moments (more florally) to help you stay present & relish every sensation.

Read more: 15 Ways to Stay In the Moment—No Matter What Intrusive Thoughts Pop Up

Boost the Romance

Mix together your favorite citrus oil with your favorite aphrodisiac one. Diffuse to give yourselves that loving feeling.


For most people, stress is a major sex drive killer. Taking time to destress before getting intimate – whether that’s throughout your day or in the moment – is one of the most powerful steps you can take for more intimate, exciting, & fulfilling sex. I keep At Peace with me at all times so that no matter where I am, I can chill the eff out.

Read more: How to Deal with Stress in a Relationship

ditch your inner mean girl

Having one of those days where you absolutely are not #feelingmyself? This Love blend is perfect for those moments. It helps diminish negative self-talk while encouraging feelings of love, self-acceptance, & forgiveness. Put some in your bath, dot it on your pulse points, take some deep inhalations of it, or diffuse it.

Elevate your massage

Sensual massage is one of my favorite ways to transition from your day to sexytime. It gets you out of your head and into your body, and feels amazing. Add a few drops of Mind Alive to your favorite massage lotion or oil to promote feelings of confidence, relaxation, and connection.

Read more: Sensual Massage Tips and Tools

alleviate health symptoms

Most of what impacts your sex life has nothing to do with sex! If there’s a symptom like pain, tummy issues, or congestion messing with your sexy time, use oils to address them in the moment.

As someone with many chronic illnesses, pain + tummy troubles are common. I carry Tummy Rub and Pain Ease with me everywhere. The former I rub on my belly when I’m bloated, nauseous, or gassy; the latter I rub on the entire area that’s in pain.

Read more: Pleasure in Chronic Pain: Simple Mindfulness Techniques for Better Sex

lift Your mood

Sex is on your schedule (or you’re horny) but you kinda sorta aren’t feeling very loving towards your beau. Give Joyful Moments a try to balance the charged emotions & move forward (hopefully towards sexy time).

wake the eff up

Need a burst of energy? Diffuse or apply Red Mandarin for a burst of energy + overall wellbeing. It’s also great to diffuse when you’re getting ready for a date.

Read more: 4 Easy Ways to Have Amazing Sex in the Morning

Bonus: try an arousal oil

Unlike regular essential oils, arousal oils are formulated to be safe for use on your genitals. Their benefits include jumpstarting lubrication and making it easier to experience orgasm.

ON uses cinnamon essential oil in a sweet almond oil base. It tingles and encourages blood flow—meaning you’ll be squirming in no time. We love that it comes in three different strengths.

Awaken uses CBD and organic botanicals. It works with your body to enhance pleasure and sensation, and help you experience bigger, better orgasms.

With the right essential oils, you can create a more intimate, exciting, & fulfilling sex life

Like sex toys, oils aren’t a cure-all. They’re one tool of many! But they’re easy to use, lack the taboo associated with vibrators & other adult toys, and have endless uses in the bedroom and out.

Ready to take sex and intimacy to a whole new level with essential oils?

The PbK Guide to Essential Oils for Sex tells you EVERYTHING you need to know about using EOs to enhance sex, intimacy, and pleasure, including essential oil safety, the best essential oils for arousal, orgasm, and other sexy times, how to choose a carrier oil, and, of course, sexy recipes!  

0,Essential Oils for Sex: Unlock the science of essential oils to boost your libido, enjoy stronger orgasms, and feel more confident

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8 thoughts on “How to Use Essential Oils for Sex – to Turn You On, Enhance Orgasm, and Boost Libido

    1. It depends on who you asked. I don’t recommend using oils on the genitals OR ingesting them. I recommend talking with a healthcare provider to rule out underlying conditions. Additionally, a penis ring can help.

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