Affection is one of three key components to having an intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex life that lasts. But your beautifully full life doesn’t always leave you a ton of time for your sex life and relationship, no matter how important it is to stay connected. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, you’re tired. You don’t want to ignore them, but you aren’t feeling particularly loving. You need intimate ideas to reconnect emotionally with your partner that don’t take up too much time or energy.
Build connection into your everyday.
Vacations, date days (and nights), and couple’s retreats and workshops lead to deep connection. They’re great if you have or can make the time and money but in the long-run, it’s your day to day interactions with your beau that determine whether you have an intimate, exciting, and fulfilling relationship or not.
Attend the workshop or retreat. Plan the big adventure. In-between, try these quick intimate ideas.
21 Intimate Ideas to Instantly Reconnect Emotionally to Your Partner
Non-sexual touch heals. It lowers your stress, heart rate, and blood pressure, and gives you a dose of oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Try:
- Looking into each other’s eyes for at least four minutes. Deepen the practice by sharing what you like and appreciate about each other.
- Hugging for at least 60 seconds
- Holding hands. Your heart rates will sync up.
- Slow dancing (or sway if you both have two left feet)
- Taking a few deep breaths together. Bonus points if you look into each other’s eyes and hold hands while you do this.
- Playing with each other’s hair
- Softly touching each other’s body—arms, backs, neck, hands, and feet relax you but aren’t overtly sexual.
- Rubbing lotion onto each other.
- Playing with each other’s nipples
Make relationship agreements to maximize the time you do have.
Some of my clients’ favorites are:
- Put your phones away while you eat
- No phones in the bedroom
- If you’re on the couch, you have to be touching each other.
- Give a set number (three) compliments to each other at the end of the day.
- Make eye contact whenever you talk to each other about anything—yes even who has to buy more dog poop bags.
- Cook together a set number of times per week.
- Review your schedule together at the start of the week. This manages both your expectations and helps you plan out couple time.
- Have a sacred couple’s day each week during which you don’t plan anything else (for the beau and I, that’s Sunday).
- When you part and reunite, put down your phones and hug and kiss for a few minutes.
Enhance your communication
- Learn and practice their love language.
- Ask insightful questions Try “what was the favorite part of your day? Least favorite?” versus “how was your day.”
More intimacy = better sex.
When you prep your mind, body, and relationship with intimate ideas like these, you’re more likely to “find” time for sex and have more intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex.
Don’t try all these intimate ideas at once—that sets you up to fail. Choose a few that sound fun and make sense for your schedule and relationship. Then enjoy the benefits.