Maintaining a deep connection and keeping a strong spark alive in your long term relationship is no easy feat. Too often, intimacy gets traded for desire and while that’s not inherently bad, we know that you want both!
August is Romance Awareness Month so we chatted with sexperts to find out how they keep finding their happily ever after—no matter how long they’ve been together or what life has thrown their way. We guarantee you’ll find wisdom in here to help you find freedom in pleasure too!
Talk about sex outside the bedroom
Go on dates or plan times where you talk about your sex life outside of the moment. Bring up past sexual experiences you had with each other that were particularly “hot” or pleasurable for you. Talk about what made it that way, check-in about current fantasies, google yes no maybe lists and go through them together. Doing this outside of the moment can sometimes get the body and mind anticipating the next time and anticipation can often enhance pleasure. – Lindsey Devin, LMFT
Keep dating each other
One of the biggest mistakes long term couples make is that they stop planning dates with each other. It’s so easy to get caught up in a routine with a partner and make less of an effort because there is a mindset that courting only happens in the early stages of a relationship. Well, screw that! Keep things fresh by taking each other on dates! You could schedule a swanky date at a fancy restaurant that only takes reservations, dress up (because why not). You could also surprise your partner with a spontaneous day trip or overnight staycation in your town (if they like surprises). Make it special. Don’t save those dates for special occasions…break the unspoken rules to keep things fresh! – Erin Tillman, Dating Empowerment Coach
Take time to reflect and appreciate what you have in your person
I think about all the little things they do and take note of their love language and just make time for either thinking of them or physically being with them. Like, lying down and looking into each other’s eyes and talking about some funny memory or the day. – Amber Mallery, sex educator