Most people (with penises) think that there’s no such thing as “penis too big.” A recently from a reader emailed me this about her well-endowed partner says otherwise:
How do I better manage the fact that my partner has an huge dick? We’re both nervous about it and it’s impacting our sex life. ~Vickie R.
This isn’t the first time someone’s asked this. In fact, the women I work with are more likely to complain, “their penis is too big!” than about one that’s too small. This isn’t too surprising since vaginas are about 2-4 inches long and about double that (4-8 inches) when you’re turned on. No wonder it’s hard for many people with vulvas to take a bigger penis!
Bigger isn’t always better.
Despite the fact that people with them often worry if their penis is big enough, most partners could care less about size (or want something smaller). In fact, a recent study found that the main thing they care about is a penis’ overall appearance.
Its about the motion of the ocean…and overall appearance. | Women Don’t Care About Penis Length or Shape http://t.co/JQINQObkT0
— Kait Scalisi, MPH (@PassionbyKait) July 27, 2015
Everyone has a different definition of “penis too big.”
It might mean too long or too thick or both.
What’s too big for you might be just right for someone else.
Maybe you like a long penis but it can’t be too thick. Or vice versa.
Fact is: everyone is different in terms of what they like and what feels good and what’s too much. So forget about comparing notes with your bestie(s). If the size of his penis is making sex uncomfortable, it’s too big.
There are things you can do to make sex with a big penis more pleasurable.
If your partner is hung like a horse and it’s causing problems, you don’t have to just deal with it. Here are seven ways to make sex with a well-endowed partner more comfortable and fun.
- Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. Most vulvas need 10-40 minutes to be fully turned on. This includes your vagina getting longer and wider (like mentioned above). Those extra inches are extra important if his penis is too big.
- Have your orgasm first. When you come, your body releases a bunch of feel-good chemicals. These help you feel satisfied and they relax your muscles, including those in and around your vagina. Being more relaxed then makes it easier to deal with his big one. Bonus: if you have lots of foreplay, this is much easier and more likely. And yes foreplay can include self-pleasuring before your honey gets home.
Struggle to orgasm? Click here for six steps to have the orgasm you desire.
- Have him orgasm first. If your beau can get hard relatively quickly after ejaculating, have them come first. The second hard-on is always a little smaller. In fact, if you combine these first three steps, you can both get off before intercourse! Then you’ll more open and he’ll be smaller and it’ll be easier for everyone
- Work up to it. If you know his size is a problem, don’t expect to go straight to penetration. Instead, start smaller, say with one finger or a small vibrator or dildo. Add more fingers (maybe even try fisting!) or use bigger and bigger toys to warm the vagina up. Do this on your own or as part of foreplay. Psst…It’s quite hot for your partner to use a toy on you or watch you use the toy yourself.
- Choose positions where you’re in control. Doggy style and missionary might not be the best options when your lover is well hung. Your best bets are positions where you have more control of the penetration. Try gurl on top or spooning.
- Make lube your best friend. You two should be BFFLs. Not only does lube make everything feel better, it also makes the ride smoother. His big penis means you’re more likely to get small tears in your vag or booty. This hurts and it increases your risk of things like yeast infections, UTIs, and STDs. So invest in a good lube that doesn’t have glycerin or parabens. Women love Sliquid Organic and Uberlube. They’re long-lasting but not sticky or stinky.
- Use a buffer. This requires a little DIY project but is a great way for you both to get lots of pleasure. Get yourself a Tenga3D penis masturbation sleeve. Cut a hole in the closed end so it’s open on both sides. Lube him and the sleeve up. Slip it on and then fold it in half towards the base of his penis. VOILA! You don’t have to worry about him going in too far. HE still gets the feeling of being surrounded by something soft, wet, and warm. Everyone wins. Psst…this is also great for oral sex so it feels like you’re deep throating even if you aren’t.
Still have pain with sex? Check out my two-part series on painful sex.
You can enjoy sex with a big dick.
There’s going to be some trial and error. You’re going to have to talk and try new things and figure out what works for you. But with some communication, trust, and sexy exploration, you and your lovah will be well on your way to sexual satisfaction.
Want personalized tips to have a more intimate, exciting, & fulfilling sex life? Check out my Get Your Spark Back package. Because you deserve real sex tips for real life relationships.