Retraining Your Body for Pleasure: Can My Vibrator Ruin Me? Part 2

Last week we answer the question, “Can my vibrator ruin me?” If you missed it, here’s a summary:

A vibe can only ruin you in the way boring sex can. What do I mean by that? […] Say you have one vibe at home. After all, you love it so why bother buying a new one? Now say every time you masturbate you are lying on your stomach with your legs closed…or perhaps on your back with your legs butterflied.

Every. single. time.

Guess what ? Your body is smart. Your nerve endings, the ones that give you super fabulous sensation, learn. What they learn is that this is the way to experience pleasure: using that toy in that position with that amount of pressure.

Essentially you’re training your body to orgasm in one way only. This can make it difficult to come in other situations when you are in a different position, using a different toy, or using a different amount of pressure.

Now I also mentioned that you can retrain your body to love pleasure in all sorts of ways. Basically we need to break your body’s dependence on your masturbation technique. How do we do that? Here are six steps to help.

Six Ways to Retrain Your Body for Pleasure

Preparation

1) Make Time. If you’re like most of my clients who struggle with this, you may have gotten used to 1) coming every time and 2) coming quickly. Retraining your body means that everything might take a bit longer. You may need to set aside more time for self-loving. I suggest starting with 20 minutes, setting a timer, and adjusting as necessary.

2) Choose one thing to change. Decide what thing you want to change first. Changing your position? Using a lower speed? Using a non-vibrating toy (like this, this, or this) or your fingers? Stick with that several sessions (3-5 at minimum) before trying to change anything else.

Time to Play

3) Get present. At the start of each session, take a few moments to get really present. Take some deep breaths and begin to feel your body – the sensation of the sheets and how the air feels. Showers and baths are really good for getting relaxed too. Do whatever you need to to get out of your head and into your body.

4) Use foreplay- and lots of it Now that you’re relaxed, start the timer…and then the foreplay! Fantasize away. Touch, stroke, scratch, pinch, tease, and tickle. Get nice and aroused before even touching your vulva.

5) Use your (PC) muscles. Sync your PC muscles and your breath. Inhale and relax. Exhale and tighten. Try not to use your abs while doing this! Repeat while stroking, vibe-ng, etc. Need more info on your PC muscles? Check this post out.

6) Be patient. Once time is up, feel free to either keep going or stop. Again – you may or may not come. Your body didn’t adjust overnight, and it most likely won’t unlearn overnight either. I can’t tell you an exact number of sessions but I can promise that if you stick with this practice, you’ll be able to experience more pleasure.

If you’re thinking this is a lot of work, I agree. Despite what books and movies tell us, though, great sex isn’t always effortless! It requires thinking, talking, and actively choosing pleasure in the pursuit of living a pleasure-filled and orgasmic life! And if that isn’t a worthy end goal, I don’t know what is.

Do you know someone who struggles to orgasm or needs more pleasure in their life? Share this post. They’ll thank you and so will I.

Your Partner in Passion,

Kait xo

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