Because, spoiler: you aren’t broken.
You were just given the wrong set of directions to get there (and, yes, we mean there).
- not having sex often enough
- don’t know how to talk about sex
- feel like your desire is too high, too low, or mismatched with your partner’s
- are bored with the same ol’ stuff in bed (foreplay, you there?)
- or are struggling with a body that’s “misbehaving” from a life change, medication, aging, illness, or stress…
It’s possible to have sex that’s fun, fulfilling, and as frequent as you want. You just need some tools and a new perspective.
It all starts with asking for what you want and need
If you were raised on a steady diet of romcoms and romance novels (or maybe you just joined our ranks thanks to #Bridgerton – welcome!), there’s this underlying idea that a partner should *just know* how to please you. There’s a misconception that relationships should be easy—or at the very least have the conflict resolve with an Oh So Romantic (often rain-soaked) Conclusion…and then live happily ever after…
You’re living in the “ever after” now and you might be wondering WTF?!
Imagine if You Could
- Feel confident to ask for exactly what you want—in the bedroom and out.
- Have open, nonjudgmental conversations about sex—that don’t end in a fight.
- Stop worrying about rejection or hurt feelings—and start experiencing deeper connection and intimacy with your partner-plus (more) orgasms!
- Have your partner/s who knows exactly how to please you.
- Feel sexy, confident, empowered and at-home in yourself.
The PbK Guide to Getting the Sex You Want
How to Talk About Sex for Stronger Orgasms, More Confidence, and a Deeper Connection
“I finally have the courage to speak up about what I like and don’t! The tips boosted my sexual confidence and helped my husband and I get out of a rut. I feel less alone, less shameful, and more liberated.”
“You’re the only person I’ve ever really told this to”
Yup, that^ person is me.
Hi, I’m Kait, PbK’s Founder and Executive Director. Over the past 11+ years working as a sex coach and educator, I’ve heard these words from thousands of people of all genders, sexualities, ages, races, ability, religions, relationship structures, and politics.
What’s the “this” they’re talking about?
Things like issues with low or mismatched desire, struggling to orgasm, unsure how to find pleasure after having a baby or getting diagnosed with a chronic illness, and more.
There’s always the problem that people come to me with, the thing that prompts them to take the step—and, underneath that, there’s almost always a lack of connection and communication.
Because, when I probe about past conversations, what I hear is either “Oh no we don’t talk about sex” OR “We’ll talk about it, something will change for a few days, and then things go right back to normal.”
I get it.
As someone in a long-term relationship (16+ years!) who’s navigated long distance, multiple chronic illnesses, disability, family cancer, body changes, and changes in desire/ability to “have” sex, I know how hard these conversations about sex can be.
TBH—I used to roll my eyes when my colleagues stressed the importance of communication. After all, there’s a whole big world of sex toys, positions, tools, tips, and tricks to try! Let’s just do it.
Except…what kept popping up at workshops and in my sex coaching and couple’s counseling practice were, well, communication issues. Things like:
“I haven’t told this to anyone, not even my partner”
“I’m worried they’ll reject me or I’ll offend them”
“Every time we try to talk about it, we end up fighting”
“We talk about it but nothing ever changes.”
Something Magical Happened
As couples learned how to talk about sex—and began having open, productive, nonjudgmental conversations about sex—the initial issue they came to see me about either resolved itself OR became no longer important.
So I dove into studying communication, shame, attachment, and conflict. I read up on therapeutic modalities like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Internal Family Systems (because how you talk to yourself and what you tell yourself about sex is also important). I read up on The Gottmans’ research on check-ins, Gestalt storytelling practices, Brene Brown’s approaches to shame, and EFT’s tools for navigating conflict. I trained in somatics, boundaries, and resourcing yourself to have hard conversations with Jane Clapp, Karine Bell, and Resmaa Menakem.
All along, dropping bits and pieces into counseling work. Asking clients if they’d like to try something different. Watching as they began having conversations about sex and more connection, confidence, and pleasure more quickly.
And that? ALL of that is distilled into The Guide.
The Guide combines 11+ years of research and practice
So you, too, can start having deeper connection/s, stronger orgasms, and more confidence.
“My sex life is awesome now!! My husband and I communicate, are intimate, and have great sex regularly…all things I wondered if we’d ever have together. Aside from that, my life is so much richer and more fulfilling, and filled with much-needed self-care and love.”
What’s Included in The Guide
a 30+ Page Workbook full of…
- Real talk that answers real questions about how to talk about sex, based on the exact strategies Kait has used to help hundreds of couples in her sex coaching and couples counseling practice
- Journal prompts to help you discover more about your desires and whatever might be blocking them
- Guided meditations for integrating more confidence and opening up to more pleasure
- Movement practices to support you with an embodied understanding and application of everything you will learn
- And more.
You Will Learn:
- When and how to have conversations about sex (and when not to)
- What to say in the moment— and what’s better left for less vulnerable (usually more clothed) moments
- How to talk about sex without fighting, feeing awkward AF, or hurting their feelings
- Practical + powerful tools that take less than 5 minutes a day to have deeper communication, a stronger connection, and hotter sex.
- Communication strategies for couples—that also help every other relationship in your life
- How to talk about something you’re extra nervous about
- EARRS – the proprietary PbK framework that makes talking about sex—or any vulnerable topic—safer so that you can deepen your connection
Plus these Five bonuses
Bonus #1: Essential Prep Work for More Productive Conversations About Sex
Use these activities on your own or with your partner to set the scene and have more open, nonjudgmental conversations about sex that lead to real change. ($55 value)
Bonus #2: Conversation Starters for People Who Feel Awkward Talking About Sex, Deluxe Edition
This expanded version of our popular freebie includes TK opening lines so that you can start talking about sex, even if you’ve never done so before. ($33 value)
Bonus #3: Say THIS In Bed.
Use these phrases in the moment to get what you want in bed and talk dirty without feeling awkward (or sounding like you’re following a script). ($22 value)
Bonus #4: In Case of Emergency Conversation Repair Kit
If your conversation starts going south (and not in the fun way), use these strategies to stop the fight from getting worse, prevent (more) hurt feelings, and help you kiss and make up. ($99 value)
Bonus #5: Check-In Template
A regular check-in is a powerful practice for building intimacy and deepening your connection. Use this template as inspiration for guiding the conversation during it. ($55 value)
Total Value: $463
But you can get your hands on The Guide (and then on each other) for as little as $55!
Choose Your Level of Support
Get everything listed above!
This one’s for you if you’re ready to get all the info and run (to bed) with it. You’re the kind of learner that can take things in on your own time and feel the impact.
This is filler copy. If you’ve found it you’re probably a designer and/or developer and GO YOU! Sadly, there’s no prize. I’m sorry. I just really really wanted to finish this thing, publish it, and have it look even. Next time I’ll hire you. OH that’s the prize! Email me.
Total value: $463
You PaY: $55
Get everything in Basic PLUS get 1, 30-minute Ask Me Anything coaching session ($173 value) to get personalized feedback from our founder, Kait Scalisi, MPH, a certified sex educator with over a decade of experience supporting people finding freedom in pleasure.
This one’s for you if you crave personalized support and direct feedback, and want to back up everything you learn with customized recommendations.
Only 5 VIP spots available per month. Coaching call must be completed within 60 days of purchase
Total value: $636
You pay: $166
“I generally have less worries about sex. My partner mentioned to me that she feels I’m more comfortable during sex and with her. We’ve been able to build a lot of intimacy with each other and I feel much more secure in my relationship.”
What The Guide Gives You
- Foundational tools to have open conversations about sex (yup, even that thing you’re thinking but too scared to say out loud) without feeling awkward, fighting, or hurting anyone’s feelings.
- The exact strategies Kait’s used to help hundreds of couples in her sex coaching and couples counseling practice to create a more intimate, exciting, and fulfilling relationship/s that lasts—no matter what life throws your way (yes, even a pandemic)
- Holistic practices that support your mind, body, and spirit for your sex life and relationship/s to thrive.
What The Guide Isn’t
This product might not be for you if you’re looking for…
- A detailed guide to sexting or talking dirty
- Specifics on disclosing and discussing STIs
- A quick fix
- A kink negotiation contract
- Guidance on talking to children or youth youth about sex
BUT…The Guide does make having all of those conversations a helluva lot easier
And what happens if you start talking about sex?
What happens if you put your wants, your needs, your desires, your fears out there?
Here’s what others have to say about how these tools transformed their relationship/s and sex life:
“The very best thing though is that I have been initiating more conversations about sex with my partner, desires, fantasies, past experiences, etc.. I have found better ways to talk to [my husband] about how I need my body to be touched—both feelings of safety and what I like sexually! And that is really awesome.“
“The tools we gained while working with Kait are useful in our everyday communication and are applicable to any relationship.“
I appreciated the focus on action and solutions—everything was immediately practical.
“Our communication has become a lot better and we’ve learned some great techniques on how to break our conflict cycle. And because of this we’ve been able to work through our issues/arguments quicker and more effectively. It’s really helped me see things from a different perspective, and be less judgmental of myself and [my partner]. “
I’m playing around more sexually with sex both with my partner and without. I’m focusing more on sensations and pleasure during sex. I’m communicating way more about sex.
I now feel like a “normal” person.
If you can’t wait a moment longer to get the sex you want…
If you’re not happy with your purchase, neither are we.
If, after implementing the strategies in The Guide for 30 days, you aren’t satisfied, reach out and share your completed worksheets to receive a 100% refund.
We highly doubt you’ll need one. You’ll be too busy having more intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex. 😉
Please note: AMA sessions and the group coaching are nonrefundable.
How much time will this take me, really?
Intimate, exciting, and fulfilling relationships do take work and also one of our core ethos at PbK is “practical AND powerful.” We designed the activities in this workbook to fit easily into your life and schedule. And we’ve “tested” them with busy moms, CEOs, entrepreneurs, chronically ill folx, and people who are a combo of all of the above. Most of the activities in The Guide take around 5 minutes or less—and focus more on shifting how you’re doing things that you already do versus giving you something new to do.
What if my partner/s isn’t open to having conversations about sex?
Obviously, the best conversations include two or more involved participants. However, thanks to forces like sexual shame, trauma, and a society that doesn’t teach or encourage us to talk about vulnerable topics, it’s not uncommon for one partner to be less, shall we say enthused?
At the end of the day, you can’t force your partner/s to talk about sex; however, The Guide equips you with the strategiest and tools to help you and your partner/s feel welcome in the conversation so that you can have more open, nonjudgmental, and productive conversations—and ultimately have the more intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex life you crave.
If you’re still concerned, we recommend choosing the Plus or VIP option so that you’ll get additional support from Kait on how to navigate your unique situation.
I’m burned the eff out—won’t this make me more tired?
We hear you. After a year in these weird COVID times, it’s normal to feel totally BLARGH. That’s why this product is DIY (do it yourself)—so you can do it on your own time and schedule. Plus, we designed the activities in this book actually give you energy by helping you reduce stress, make life easier, and remove that energy drain on your backburner (aka your sex, relationship, and intimacy issues). In the not so long run, spending a few minutes a day on these tools saves you time and energy. You’re probably already talking to your partner so this just changes how.
Will this work for [insert your problem here]?
Yes! We could have created ten versions of this book that each focused on individual issues—desire, infertility, orgasm, etc—but here’s the secret: the content wouldn’t really change. These are the FOUNDATIONAL communication skills to help you learn how to talk about sex and have better sex no matter what’s going on in your life.
We also understand that every situation truly is unique. That’s why Kait offers a limited number of VIP slots so that you can get personalized support and accountability to implement the tools in your unique situation.
I’m a grown ass adult—shouldn’t I just know how to talk about sex?
Well, no. For, like, a lot of reasons. We aren’t ever taught how to talk about vulnerable topics. Our models for this—family, religion, friends, TV, movies, books, media, etc—aren’t great. So, unless you had parents/mentors/caretakers who modeled how to do this really well, where the heck would you have learned how to do this? In other words: cut yourself some slack. You can’t learn something you were never taught and haven’t seen.
Can’t I just learn a new position, tip, trick, or skill to have stronger orgasms, get turned on more easily, etc…
You totally can! And, we have over 200 articles on PassionbyKait.com that cover nearly ever topic under the sun when it comes to sex.
But…let us ask a question of our own: do you want to repeat this struggle over and over again?
Because change is the only guarantee, as they say, and that means new sex and intimacy issues will pop up in your future. The Guide helps you create the FOUNDATION so that no matter what life throws your way, you’ll know how to navigate it—together and without feeling awkward, afraid, or embarrassed. Think of it as investment in your present goal and as-yet-unknown future ones. That’s how you find #freedominpleasure.
I want more personalized support, how do I get it?
Right now, Kait’s sex coaching and couples counseling practice is full. However, the Plus option includes a 90 minute group coaching session and the VIP option includes a 30 minute Ask Me Anything coaching session 1:1 with Kait to get personal feedback and support on your sex goals.
Can I just buy this later?
This is the part where sales experts tell us that we’re supposed to say “We don’t know! Are you willing to risk that?” but the more accurate answer is “Probably but we don’t know how, when, or in what form.”
This is our first time releasing a product like this so we aren’t totally sure what comes next. We might make it a fixture on our site, we might do another limited launch, and we might do neither!
Ultimately, we can’t tell you what’s best for you right now, but we can offer yet another clarifying Q: how much peace, pleasure, and connection (and orgasms) will it cost you to wait?
Here’s a recap of what you get in The Guide:
- The Guide: a 30+ page workbook packed with the exact tools, prompts, movement practices, and meditations that have helped hundreds have more confidence, connection, and pleasure. ($199 value)
- Essential Prep Work for More Productive Convos about Sex so that you can have more open, nonjudgmental conversations about sex that lead to lasting change. ($55 value)
- Conversation Starters for People Who Feel Awkward Talking About Sex so you can start talking about sex even if you haven’t before. ($33 value)
- Say THIS In Bed, exact phrases you can use to ask for—and get—what you want in the moment. ($22 value)
- In Case of Emergency Conversation Repair Kit, strategies to recover a conversation that’s going south so you can kiss and make up (and make out) faster. ($99 value)
- Check-In Template, because talking about sex is easier when its regular. This shows you how. ($55 value)
Total Value: $463
But you can get your hands on The Guide (and then on each other) for as little as $55!
Need one last boost?
Here are a few more testimonials to help you discern if The Guide will be supportive of you.
“ Initially we were skeptical. Our expectation was that it would be a waste of time, and that nothing could effectively get to understand and help us. Our communication has improved tremendously, along with our ability and willingness to discuss our sexual wants and needs. We see any struggles that arise as a ‘we”’issue rather than the other person’s issue.“
“I feel very empowered to keep working towards our goals and my own goals for my sexual well-being.“
“I’ve reached a deeper connection to myself and sex in terms of what is important to me, and WHY it’s important to me. “
Having great sex doesn’t have to be so hard
If all you did was read this page, something already began changing for you because you chose differently .
So go ahead, and give yourself a BIG OLD HUG.
Yes seriously. We’ll wait.
Did you do it?
And if you want to take the impact even further, grab your copy of The Guide below.
Have more questions? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
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