Self care seems to be everywhere lately. There’s all this buzz about how fab it is for you and how exactly to go about doing it. The slower but more energizing pace of summer is the perfect time to practice your self care…and ultimately have a more intimate and fulfilling relationship as a result.
Self care comes in many forms.
Being the geek that I am, I totally googled the definition of self care while writing this post. This is what I found:
“Self-care refers to activities and practices that we can engage in on a regular basis to reduce stress and maintain and enhance our short- and longer-term health and well-being.” Source
I love this definition for two reasons: it defines self care as both unique and habitual. (I totally typed ‘regular’ originally but that made me think of bowel movements and yeah…). Self care can look however you want it, there’s no wrong way to to do it!
Also, you should definitely explore that website more as it has tons of useful information…
Self care is key to feeling sexually satisfied.
Your self-care impacts so many areas of your life and especially your relationships. Often, when sex and relationship issues pop up, they’re actually the last outcome in a series of unfortunate events. As I wrote in an older post:
In truth, saying goodbye to sex is one of the least important outcomes [when you’re stressed…] So what else happened? We let go of our pleasure. We stop doing the things we love, first as much and then at all. We forget about our favorite practices, be them watching reality TV, doing yoga, or going out for happy hour. We start wearing our “comfy” clothes (yes, I’m talking about those pants), forgetting to shave or pluck or primp or pamper (who has the time, right?!), our hair is thrown up in the same sloppy bun for two weeks straight <–guilty as charged, and makeup…well what the heck is that?
Just as not doing self-care can add stress to your sex life and relationship, committing to self care positively impacts them! By helping you relax and recharge, or get out of your head and into your body, self-care lets you enjoy sexy time more. You’ve already decompressed so now you can focus on all the delicious, pleasurable sensations.
As an added bonus, self-care helps you discover new things you enjoy, from activites to sex acts (if masturbation or sex are in your self-care go-top 5).
Taking time to enjoy yourself helps you connect more deeply with your sweetie.
I personally love how Amy Jo Goddard describes the importance of self care for your intimacy:
You can start with your own sexual self-care. If you can’t show up for your own body and sexuality, how do you intend that other people will? YOU must lead. No sexual father is going to lead you down the aisle to the magician who will wave his wand and make you a sexually liberated woman—or man for that matter. You’ve got the wand in your very own hand, but you forgot you were holding it. Source
Summer presents unique self care challenges.
Ok so self-care is fab and summer is fab. Except…there are some things that summer brings along with it that make maintaining your self care even more difficult.
For one, there’s the heat. Not only does it make you sweat (and if we’re being real probably not smell the best) but it also zaps your energy. Secondly, you probably find yourself wanting to do all the things. Your evenings and weekends are jam packed with trips and hikes and weddings and dinners outside and family get-togethers and…!
All this can make self-care seem harder. And it is. Which is why I adore these five tools to make it that much simpler.
5 Ways to Make Summer Self Care Easier
- Time outside. When it comes to time outside, you’ve got tons of options. Whether you love the beach or the mountains, wandering the city or hiking the woods, being active or lounging, preferably with a drink in hand (or both!), now is the time to soak in the summer’s energy. Spend at least 15 minutes a day sans sun screen to get your dose of vitamin D to help you feel more energized. Once those 15 are up though, lather on the SPF! Smart = sexy ya’ll.
- Anti-chaffing products. Chub rub and heat rash are real, regardless of your size or shape. Last summer I decided to stop hating my thighs for restricting me from wearing cute dresses more than once a week and do something about it. I personally swear by Gold Bond Anti-Friction Defense. Some of my colleagues prefer Uberlube. Sexpert tip: you don’t need much. Seriously, a few drops goes a long way.
- Makeup primer. I generally don’t wear much makeup in the summer but when I do, primer keeps my look on fleek. Less worry about a melting face is just one more way of creating freedom in pleasure. Here I do rely on one drop of prefer Uberlube. I know it sounds weird but after standing up to many hours of dancing in the Savannah heat, I promise it works. Because it is such a pure form of silicone, you won’t feel greasy and it won’t aggravate sensitive skin.
- A foam roller. Your cutest summer sandals sadly don’t have much support AND you’re doing a helleva lot more walking. By day’s end you might be a little achy, and not in a “stayed up all night and had passionate sex” way. Stretching and rolling before bed not only help loosen sore muscles but also are great ways to relax at the end of a day. For me, its meditative and I definitely sleep better on nights when I use my roller. I’ll gie you fair warning: it hurts. Like a lot. But in a good way…
- Warm weather indulgences. Beer, sparkling wine, ice cream cones, rooftops, rooftop bars, dining al fresco, summer produce – what isn’t to love?! Yes you enjoy most of those all year long but its so much more fun when its warm.
What’s your go-to summer self care?
Your Partner in Passion,