Kelly* asks-
What’s a good way to demonstrate pressure sensitivity to a partner?
I love this question because it’s really about teaching your partner what feels good to you. Too often, I see women in LTRs stay silent or feel afraid to speak about when something that used to work doesn’t anymore. No more!
In this post you’ll learn…
- an overview of genitals & what they really like
- how to teach them to please you so you get what you want in bed
- an amazing new tool to help you & your honey learn together
The amount of pressure that feels delicious for you may be painful or not enough for someone else.
One of Emily Nagoski’s central tenets in her empowering book Come As You Are is that we have all the same parts, organized differently. You see we all come from the same mass of cells with only slightly different directions on how to develop. And if you look at photos of genital development in utero, penises & vulvas look uncannily similar until the very final stages of fetal growth.
“All the same parts, organized differently” is true for our genitals, our brains, and how the two interact. And by “interact” I mean how you experience sensation, pain & pleasure: what feels yummy & what’s not-so-hot.
Of course this isn’t what we see in mainstream media or even my beloved romance novels. There’s one or two magic spots and a “good” lover obviously knows where they are & how to touch them. Unfortunately, that’s not the case and leads to a shit ton of shame if you don’t experience orgasm from said spots and for your partner who’s been led to believe these spots are the magic key.
This is true for other aspects of your sex life too, not just what your genitals like!
Here are three more examples:
- Some people get turned on quickly. Others take a bit longer.
- Some people prefer slow, sensual sex (think: morning sex) with lots of foreplay. Others want it hard & fast, and maybe a little kinky.
- Some people struggle to orgasm. Others experience multiple orgasms easily.
Same parts, organized differently. BOOM.
To get what you want in bed, you first have to know what you like.
Put aside an afternoon or evening to explore your tingly bits. If you already know exactly what you like, feel free to skip this section. Although – you never know what new pleasure spot you might discover!
Here are a few Qs to ask yourself as you do. Oh and – don’t forget the lube!
- How much pressure feels good?
- Do I like constant pressure or a pattern? What type of pattern?
- Is there a certain part of my [clitoris/labia/etc] that feels extra yummy when it’s touched?
- What kind of strokes feel best?
- Do I prefer pinpoint stimulation on one spot or touches all over?
- Do different parts of my vulva prefer different [pressures/strokes/patterns]?
Bonus: for those of you who struggle with monkey mind, this is a great way to put all that thinking to good use!
Then, teach them how to please you.
Once you know what feels best, it’s time to get physical! When your partner touches you, put your hand over theirs, tell them to follow your lead, add a wink if you feel extra sassy, and show them what you like.
Your partner might learn quickly or they may need a few reminders. But no worries – demonstrating pressure sensitivity this way is intimate & sexy AF. As a bonus, you also can demonstrate the strokes and patterns you like.
Want to make a great thing better? OMGYes helps you get what you want in bed.
Whether you want to find new strokes that’ll bring you pleasure, give your honey a way to practice without you always having to be there, or some combination – OMGYES is for your new best friend.
OMGYES is a website that lets you explore specific ways of enhancing pleasure through videos & new tech called touchable video. The touchable video is so damn cool! More importantly, it lets you practice & master each technique right on your touchscreen or computer! You’ll explore new ways to intensify pleasure; get new perspectives on your favorite, go-to moves; and gain extra tools for your sex tool box.
How does it work? First, choose the technique you want to practice. There’s 12 right now and they plan to add more. Then learn from real people (not porn stars, sexperts, or actors) how the technique works & why it feels so good. Finally, try it for yourself. As you touch, you get feedback in real-time so you can fine-tune.
#obsessed
OMGYES is for anyone who cares about women’s sexual pleasure & wants to explore it more. It’s a sophisticated, beautiful way to see what helps people experience pleasure & orgasm.
If that weren’t kick-ass enough, all revenue supports more research into women’s pleasure and how ways to enhance it! I’d blather on about how sex research is underfunded and too binary but…that’s not why you’re here!
Check out OMGYES!
Season 1 includes 12 episodes and is only $39!
*Name has been changed.
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Great review