Self-care is more than just a bubble bath or a face mask. While those are wonderful options, self-care is a way to reckon with and heal ourselves and our personal history. Body-based forms of healing have a long and rich history in every culture, but unfortunately, patriarchal, ableist norms have long placed the intellect and the mind above the wisdom of the body. These norms minimize the body’s innate wisdom, making it seem less important.
Capitalism has also commodified self-care, turning it into something that can feel like a luxury for a select few. While your social media feed might suggest this, sensual self-care has its roots in personal liberation. Your body carries immense wisdom, and science is finally catching up to the fact that body-based knowledge is critically important. Our bodies often respond to things before our brains do and carry stress, trauma, and emotions. All of this is easy to ignore unless we are listening closely, especially within social norms that tell us expressing emotion is a bad thing.
Sensual self-care is anything that gets you more in touch with your body and senses. It connects you to your inner hedonist and acts as a form of mindfulness. It helps you complete the stress cycle so you can live a fuller life, with more freedom and pleasure. Best of all, it doesn’t have to cost you a thing.
12 Free Ways to Practice Sensual Self-Care
- Practice Pleasure Mapping. This exercise helps you uncover new turn-ons. It’s a fabulous practice to do with a partner, but it’s also beautiful to do on your own for the purposes of self-care.
- Name your emotions and physical sensations. “Name it to tame it” is a common therapeutic approach. It helps you acknowledge what’s going on so you can feel and address it. Supercharge this practice by naming not only the emotions but also the physical sensations that are arising.
- Share your feelings with someone who loves you. Find a close friend, family member, or partner who can hold a safe space for everything that’s coming up for you without trying to fix it (unless you ask for advice).
- Hug yourself, a pet, or someone else. Give a long, firm squeeze! Hold it for at least 20 seconds to get that calming release of oxytocin.
- Masturbate mindfully. This is one of the most healing options on this list. Switch up your usual routine and incorporate breathwork, movement, and mindful activities. You get all the health benefits of masturbation alongside those of mindfulness.
- Dance with intention. Is there a feeling that you typically avoid or hate to feel? Put on some music that arouses that emotion and let your body move. Anger is a common one, and music with heavy bass or drums is fantastic for stomping, shaking, and hip-circling it out.
- Laugh. Put on something that always amuses you, or just fake it. Once you start, it’s hard to stop.
- Read or listen to an erotic story. Notice how you feel throughout the story. If your hands start to wander, enjoy.
- Shake. Plant your feet firmly on the ground and begin to pedal your legs, letting the shakes move up through your body to release tension.
- Create without a goal. Crack open your journal, coloring book, or canvas and go to town. Creating art can be a powerful way to move feelings through your body.
- Lie on the ground. Whether that’s the floor, pavement, or Mother Earth. Lie down and just breathe.
- Stretch. It’s so simple and so powerful. Try a simple forward fold, put your legs up the wall, lie on the floor with your arms in a “cactus” or “goal” position, or use a foam roller or tennis ball to release tension.
A Final Thought on Prioritizing Yourself
Sensual self-care isn’t always easy to practice—and it’s not the same for everyone. It’s not productive in a capitalistic sense. It often doesn’t look pretty or neat and defies social norms about what healing “should” look like. Many of us—especially womxn, caregivers, and people of color—carry stories that tell us we “shouldn’t” or “don’t need to” rest, or that doing so is selfish.
That is precisely what makes it so important to prioritize.