“Pleasure might be too scary of a sell,” a marketing consultant once told me. We were seeing a surge of interest in topics like menstruation and reproductive justice, and even sex. But pleasure? That was a no-no.
“Why does pleasure matter to you?” a PR consultant asked.
Because it is a human right. It is transgressive. It is a declaration that says, “I matter.”
1. Experiencing Pleasure Is Revolutionary
I’ve long believed that experiencing pleasure is a radical act. I’m grateful that pleasure has often come easily to me, whether we’re talking about orgasms, the joy of delicious food, dancing in nature, or the thrill of seeing a fictional romance come to life. Sometimes, I used to judge this ease. Words like “hedonistic,” “sinful,” and “lazy” would rattle around my mind. These are the same messages we receive that say success and happiness require hard work and constant production—whether of work, children, or something else.
It’s this pressure—a function of a history that strips lands and peoples of resources, of capitalism that equates one’s productivity with their worth, and of systems created to exploit labor—that makes leaning into pleasure so rebellious and powerful.
2. Pleasure Heals
Too often, pleasure is dismissed as unimportant at best or destructive at worst. But the truth is that it’s a powerful healing force. Joyful movement, laughter, rest, and hugs are all deeply pleasurable things that are scientifically proven to help us complete the stress cycle. The rush of hormones released when you experience orgasm has countless health and interpersonal benefits.
As an example, celebration is a vital part of activism. As the Youth Activist Tool Kit from Advocates for Youth explains, “Fighting a problem does not need to be depressing. In fact, having fun and feeling joy can be an act of resistance, for example, in the way that Pride festivals celebrate LGBTQ people and culture.” Finding reasons to celebrate—even when things aren’t perfect—heals on so many levels.
3. Pleasure Is a Human Right
Everyone deserves pleasure, whatever that looks like and means to them. Pleasure is not something that should be reserved only when one finishes their work; rather, it is an essential part of living a full life. It’s the right to smile, laugh, and love. Why is this even a debate?
4. Prioritizing Pleasure Means Letting Go of Internalized Judgments
Saying “yes” to pleasure means choosing, even for a fleeting moment, to let go of the “shoulds” and enjoy what is rightfully yours. Experiencing pleasure often means healing and letting go of judgments fueled by misogyny, racism, fatphobia, ableism, and other forms of oppression. Pleasure declares, “I matter, I deserve this, and I am enough.”
5. Pleasure Is Not All-or-Nothing
Too often, pleasure is seen as an end goal—the thing you’ll work toward when all the rest of the work is done. This perspective is a limiting, “either/or” mindset that is meant to keep us constantly working and grinding.
6. Pleasure Is Not a Commodity
Thanks to capitalism, pleasure, like self-care, has become a commodity. It’s presented as expensive, time-consuming, and exclusive. And while a fancy meal is lovely, the things that bring the most joy are often the smallest: lying in the sun on the couch, witnessing your dog do something ridiculous, or simply sipping a cup of tea.
7. Challenging Times Can Clarify What Truly Brings Pleasure
Being forced to spend so much time at home has clarified the things that bring me pleasure: deep, regular conversations; delicious food; long walks; and cuddling.
What would happen if you prioritized pleasure?
What could shift if you made pleasure the lens through which you viewed the world? The way you made decisions? What would your relationships—romantic, platonic, or otherwise—look like? How would you spend your time? What would your sex life be like? What would you say “no” to?
Fully leaning into your pleasure means stripping away the stories and the “shoulds.” It means divesting from the falsehoods and letting go of the lies you’ve been told about goodness, godliness, and temptation. It means finding freedom in pleasure rather than shame.